Thursday, September 15, 2011

‎" The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn,like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."- Jack Kerouac


Coming back gets easier every time, more exciting in fact as I re-discover my old city with a new perspective. It is interesting, the patterns you get used to, the faces...the more I travel the more I seem to see the same faces everywhere I go, the more cities, bus routes, restaurants I carefully familiarize myself with for weeks, even months (just to leave) begin to blend together in the recess of my mind until all of a sudden, Lexington is a conglomeration, a city of surprising triggers to international memories, hidden antique shops, cafes and art.  


I am happy to be home, perhaps happier than ever. But there is one thing that keeps that ache, the longing to be in a strange place, speaking another language, eating new foods....coming back. It is the lack of these roman-candle people. I miss the mad people, the ones Jack Kerouac knows, the yogi-nurse-expat or the israeli backpackers. The rasta-men who would play soccer into the night, and lone backpackers who became friends in an instant. I miss meeting Americans with the same passions, getting to know people on a deeper level no matter when you would part ways or if you would ever see them again. I miss the people who you knew loved life simply by looking at them, and I miss knowing that people saw that in me. When I got back, people noticed it, that fire - the me that is 100% true to every thought, emotion, and relationship.


I am still the same person, improved slightly from more amazing experiences, but I don't feel mad anymore...I am driven, involved in about every activity I can squeeze into my 12-hour days. I don't need to be in another country to be happy, or even another state. But I need to find the roman candles of this town, the ones less concerned with bars and the newest phones, and more concerned with living, loving, giving. I have never been happier with myself than after my trip to Costa Rica - I had accomplished some big goals - I learned so much spanish, lived with my sister in a foreign country, repelled from hundred foot waterfalls with my mom, grandma and sister, WWOOFed to farms throughout the country trying things I never have, and met some amazing people to finish the trip up. 


The adventure didn't end there, and even through the craziness of this college life, I will continue to burn,burn,burn...